STEAK!!

STEAK!!! So Boo and I went out with some of my work peoples last night. FUN TIMES!! But the blender was broke so that kinda sucked. Boo is so weird. If I wasnt sleeping with him on a regular basis I would worry about him. Speaking of Boo, where the hell is he??

So whats up world? My uncle died this morning. It was expected. He was 88 so he had a long time. I remember being down there alot as a kid. Used to ride my horse down there all the time. He had a hitching post in his front yard. Remember the halloween party that year and he took us on a hay ride pulled my mules. He always had a mule or horse of some type. I remember that horse Zeke that he had. There was this big tree in his front yard with benches built around it too. Uncle Jamie will always own a piece of my memories. The last time I actually saw him, I drove him to the store and back because he couldnt see a thing.....

So I am on day 1 of my 7 day stretch. I did mention this and was told it would be rectified but it wasnt so I will just reap the rewards.

hmm.. Im hungry

whole lot of not organized

So I went to this meeting thing tonight. WHOLE LOT OF NOT ORGANIZED!! I mean if you are leading something get it together. Introduce yourself at least when you get up to talk. NO ORGANIZATION!!! I find that type of thing SOOO frustrating.

I feel like shit. My jaw hurts. My head is starting to feel all stopped up. And it just started. Ugh. It's going to be a long night.

Oh and poor puppy :(

death

Why is death such a slow process? It seems like a cruel thing to know that death is going to be a drawn out process. That nothing is going to come quickly. Then in the event that death appears to come quickly, it is often violent in nature. I caused a death today and was trying to make it quick and painless. But even after all could be done to expediate the process it was still long and drawn out. For all I know the body is still breathing in the ditch. Hope it doesnt crawl home. I wonder if the death process is related to the birth process? Are those who are born quickly and suddenly gifted with a quick and sudden death? And are those who are birthed through a long drawn out labor, destin to have similar death process?

And Ive heard that you can feel a soul leave a body. Didnt get that feeeling this morning. So is the soul still trapped inside the ant filled body out in the ditch?

today

So I dont really have anything interesting to say but I figured since I was sitting here I might as well post something. I feel like shit! My jaw hurts. It's not like toothache hurt it just hurts. I dont even want to open my mouth. My throat hurts near my jaw and my ear on that side hurts too. Sucks to be me at the moment. Plus I am about to work day one of 11. I am working 11 out of the next 12 days. Oh well.... Money money money... money!! New truck and all right?

change

I used to be very opposed to change but then I decided to jump head first into something because I knew I need change in my life to make me happy. So I have now made a very massive change in my whole lifestyle (no I havent kicked Boo out, yet). But even now after making changes I will admit that I still get kinda nauseous when I think about making other changes. Example: we just bought a new vehicle. I WANTED a new truck badly, needed one also. But even though I didnt want to drive a car forever it was still sickening to make that change back to something I was familiar with and WANTED/NEEDED! But another change has come along recently. And amazingly it is a relief to have it made. I didnt consciously make thing change. Didnt go into the moment with change in mind, but I have to admit that life is lighter post change. Goodbye old and unreliable. HELLO NEW WORLD!!!

So I have been a nurse for 2 months now. Started nights last monday. I AM SO EXHAUSTED!!! I think I did a really good job on my first week at nights. I didnt fall asleep at work, least I dont think I did. I didnt fall asleep on the way home. And I didnt fall asleep while standing in a patients room. BUT IM SO TIRED!!!! Lol... I thought I was doing really well until a patient told me I looked tired at like 3 am. Maybe I just look old. I mean Im only like 27, what's old there?

Hmm... seems like I had something else to say here but I got distracted by the internet... anyway
ta-ta for now

shit in a hole

Alright those of you out there. Move out of the past. I have left my past behind. It took a while but eventually you can shake that shit off. So let's focus on the here and now. Are you listening? I hate people who are to scared of face to face confrontation but will go on and on with people not related to a situation or that even know the situation. And name calling. Well you're a poopy head. Got to make sure I can use terms you can understand there. Dont want to get too educated for some people out there. I spent a time unhappy with myself but I am adult enough to realize that I am the only one who can change myself. It's a waste of energy to sit around and bitch about what other people have or do just because you're unhappy with your own life. Grow some balls and step out and make changes. Even a child can figure out that changes need to be made when you're unhappy. Get over the jealously that clouds your vision. I cant help it that I am happy with where I am in my life. I worked to get to this point and make myself happy. No one can contribute to your happiness until you start to work on your own happiness. But by all means sit in your smoke filled, pet hair infested shit hole and bitch about how other people are shit, when you know deep down inside that you're really the shit in that hole.

I love stupid people

I love stupid people, otherwise I wouldnt have survived this long.

So I started nights this week. Why do I feel more tired the more sleep I get? I mean I love to sleep during the day so why dont I feel rested? Oh well, it's worth it in the end. maybe.

So whats going on devoted readers? I have alot on my mind but I cant think of any of it lol! It's the mind of a natural born blonde from a bottle.